Sometimes life just gets in the way.
For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be a writer. A writer of what, I’m not quite sure. But writing has always had a part of my soul. Maybe it’s just the books that I love so dearly that pulls me this way. Maybe, like one of my college professors said, if you have a story, it will one day be told. It will worm its way out, until you get it down. Maybe that’s what it is. Or maybe it’s just a part of my soul. Maybe it’s what God has in store.
I know, however, that right now I am in the trenches. I’m in the trenches of…well, life. I’m the mother to three beautiful girls. One is almost 6, and on Wednesday we dive headfirst into this homeschool journey. One is 3 and a half, and never stops moving. Every picture of her is at least a little blurry. And one is 20 months old, only four short months away from her second birthday. She is loud, vibrant, opinionated, devilish, and delightful all at the same time. On top of our homeschool journey-to-be, I own my own business, we have soccer practice, and my husband is rarely home from work before 9pm. We are so deep in the trenches that our thighs are muddy.
And really, other than maybe a slightly cleaner, more organized home, I wouldn’t change it for the world. Okay, maybe I would make Ellie be every so slightly less daredevilish. Turning around to find her standing on the kitchen table when .05 seconds earlier she was hanging on your pants is a bit of a scare. But I know it’s a phase. I know I’ll look back on these days in the trenches with a smile.
One day, the story that lives in me, the story that has been slowly simmering for 10 years will get out. It will get written down. Until then, I’ll continue to wash these muddy clothes, and I’ll continue to try to appreciate the trenches. Maybe, just maybe, I need to tell another story first. Maybe it’s simmering because I’m not ready to tell it yet. Maybe something more important needs to come first.
Sometimes we have plans, and then life happens. I started this blog two years ago. There is exactly one post before this. While that post still rings hauntingly true, there was so much more I could have said in those two years. But life got in the way.
I’m hoping that I can get in lifes way, just a bit. To have something to look back on fondly in years to come would be nice. To preserve the memories, and not just to facebook, would be a blessing. But beyond that, to express myself somewhere where someone other than a 5 year old would hear would be heavenly.
Here’s to hoping it doesn’t take me another two years to write again.